December, 1996Mr. Bressler Really Did Have a Foot in His MouthA further episode of Main Street's S.A. Lexiconby Neil Lurssen It turns out that compiling these unique South African words and phrases which we all enjoy so much is serious business - serious enough to warrant a lengthy review in The New York Times on November 20, 1996 of the newly published "A Dictionary of South African English on Historical Principles" (Oxford University Press, in association with the Dictionary Unit for South African English, Rhodes University, Grahamstown). Times writer Donald G. McNeil, Jr., was intrigued by the good old word "lekker" and, to illustrate its meaning for American readers, he cited this extract from the 1847 memoirs of Sir John Barrow, late of the British Admiralty: "Mr. Bressler, having heard that the gelatinous hoof of the hippopotamus was delicious, had one of them cooked in his iron pot. The landrost . . . got through the whole foot, exclaiming repeatedly how lekker it was." Now every South African with his head screwed on right knows that hippo hoof cooked in a brawn makes terrific padkos, especially when served up with Mrs Ball's chutney and a Lion lager to wash it all down. It's almost as good as that delicacy, giraffe tail stew which is seen rarely these days, unfortunately. Or dassie hamburger which has its own distinct gamey flavor, not unlike hyena sausage. American readers of the New York Times would not have known that but, thanks to the dictionary and Mr. McNeil's review, they do have an understanding now of takkies, robot, howzit, ag shame and voetsek - all of which they would learned months ago had they checked Main Street's Cyberbraai lexicon and our readers' letters. They have also learned that "Zola Budd" is township slang for a police armored personnel carrier, that "Mary Decker" is a faster model of the Zola Budd, that "Shorokoro" is a broken down jalopy whose engine goes "shoro-koro-koro-koro" but fails to start, and that "Vasbyt" is our psychological door to a tougher attitude. The new dictionary is an 825-page work of small-print scholarship which has taken 25 years to compile. It seems likely it will appeal mostly to academics but, as Mr. McNeil notes, it has its secret delights such as its collection of insulting words which we have in rich abundance - words such as rockspider, houtkop, gatkruiper, tsotsi, skolly, moffie, and others best left unrecorded. As the reviewer also notes: "South African English has a flavor all its own. Its many accents, from British nobs in Constantia to Indians in Durban to Afrikaners in Bloemfontein to Pedis on the Zimbabwe border, can be as diverse a bunch of drawls as are those found from Noo York to Louisiana Cajun to American Samoan. And its vocabulary, mixing words from Dutch, Malay and several African languages, is different from that of any other former jewel of the British Empire." That's bladdy right, Mr. McNeil, strewsgawd. So, without further ado, let's move on with our own unscientific Cyberbraai Lexicon of South African words and phrases. And thanks, as always, to the many ooms and aunties who continue to send in additions and suggestions. No man, thanks. A lot. BABBELAS: It sounds like something Biblical but is, in fact, the word which describes that awful period - the morning after the night of unwise indulgence. Being babbelas promotes firm commitments to restraint which are often forgotten as the day wears on and the Alka Seltzer takes effect. BOYKIE: Literally (little boy), this is what legions of South African parents call their male kids. With "Basie" (little big man), it is a nickname that has stuck to many South Africans into adulthood, undoubtedly among the most popular in a nation which loves nicknames. BUT ONLY: A very useful phrase now going out of fashion, it falls into the same category as the American "as if . . ." It is used to give support to a statement by your companion. If you agree with your companion's assertion that a moral resurgence is the world's top priority as we head to the 21st Century, you can nod your head and say: "But only . . ." CATCH A TAN: This is what you do when you lie on the beach pretending to study for your matric exams. The Brits, who have their own odd phrases, say they are getting "bronzed". Nature has always been unkind to South African schoolchildren, providing beach and swimming pool weather just when they should be swotting for the mid-summer finals. If you spend too much time catching a tan at exam time, you could end up catching a sharp klap from your pa. In America, that is called child abuse. In South Africa, it is called promoting education. COSSIE: When you go the beach to catch a tan you will take a cossie unless it is a nude beach in which case catching a tan can be a sensitive affair. A cossie is a swimsuit, from "bathing costume", which conjures up images of the old Victorian bathing boxes the Brits and others placed on beaches in pursuit of modesty. There are still bathing boxes on Muizenberg beach, a colorful collection of appealing relics that provide local flavor. KOPPIE: A koppie is a small hill, a hillock. It became a familiar word to the British at the turn of the century when their troops always seemed to run afoul of Boer forces on or around koppies. On the koppie overlooking the old part of Saldanha Bay on the west coast there is an famous grave-stone which reads: "Remember this as you pass by/ As you are now so once was I/ As I am now so you will be/ Therefore prepare to follow me." It is not exactly an encouraging read for older folk who have struggled to climb to the crest of the koppie on a hot day in January. They deserve something more cheerful than a rhyming reminder that the Grim Reaper is never on the unemployment rolls. MADIBA: This is how many South Africans refer to President Nelson Mandela today. The president's full name is Nelson Rolihlahla (pronounced Roli-shla-shla) Mandela. Madiba is his clan name. Its wide use by all races - sometimes even in newspaper headlines - is a reflection of great affection for the country's first democratic president. MELLOW YELLOW: A township name for yellow police patrol vehicles, this term illustrates a South African tendency to give light-hearted names to things which can cause stress. This tendency can be found in other areas too. Main Street once attended a prison concert where, after the doors closed with a clang, a choir of inmates launched into "Happy Days are Here Again!" - one of the least persuasive performances we have seen anywhere. ROCK UP: To rock up some place is to just sort of arrive. You don't make an appointment or tell anyone you are coming - you just rock up. Friends can do that but you have to be selective about it. You can't just rock up for a job interview or at a five-star restaurant. You give them a tinkle first - then you can rock up. SCALE: To scale something is to steal it. A person who is "scaly" is not nice, a scumbag, and should be left off the Christmas party invitation list. SLIP SLOPS: Getting back to the beach for a moment, these are the rubber thongs or sandals you wear, keeping them on your feet with a thin strap which causes blisters between your big toe and its partner. Naturally you cannot wear them with socks and they should never be worn with a suit. Clothing styles are much more casual in South Africa these days thanks to Madiba's taste for colorful shirts on all occasions. But things are not so casual that you should wear slip-slops to work or to your old Auntie's funeral. SHERBET: You get home late. Your spouse is sleeping, so you undress in the dark. You stub your naked toe on a chair leg. The exclamation from your twisted mouth is "Sherbet!" It helps to relieve the pain and provides you with the satisfac tion of being civilized. Meanwhile, you are thinking an entirely more appropriate - and shorter - word. SKRIK: If you receive a registered letter from the Receiver of Revenue, you will immediately get a skrik. You will also get a skrik when you visit the bank to ask about your current account balance and the bank official collapses on the marble floor in a fit of laughter and must be helped to his chair. Another thing that causes a skrik is when you spill hot coffee in your lap while you are overtaking in your car. A skrik is a fright. A big skrik is a groot skrik. TANNIE: From the Afrikaans word "tante" (auntie), a tannie is far more than just a female relative. A tannie is a lady with whom you do not cross swords, an individual not to be taken lightly, a person who is going to win the argument long before it even starts. If you say: "Wow! She's a real tannie!", it implies respect and a degree of fear. If a young man tells you his girlfriend's mother is a tannie, you should give him some sympathy and encouragement. VRYSTAAT: This is what everyone called the old Orange Free State which has now lost its Orange and is just the Free State but still a lekker place to visit. The reason it is in the lexicon is because South African rugby fans shout "Vrystaaaaat!" to encourage their team even though they may have no connection with the Vrystaat whatsoever. It's like shouting "Arizonaaaaa!" when you support Indiana. The logic should be clear to everybody. WINDGAT: Pronounced "Vint-ghut", its direct translation is wind-hole and it means exactly what it sounds like - gasbag, braggart, blowhard, windbag. This is not a polite term so it should be used selectively and in the certain knowledge that the individual being described won't hear about it. Especially if he's your boss, father-in-law, team coach, professor, bank manager or minister. It it is appropriate, however, to use it when describing politicians and journalists. LEXICON 1: Isit? Jawelnofine! |
