October, 1996Slick Flick, Vrot PlotOur Cyberbraai lexicon of South African words and phrases continues its forward progressJust when we were starting to suspect that our readers had had enough of Main Street's ongoing Cyberbraai lexicon of South African words and phrases, we received numerous and insistent demands for more from many corners of the globe. Do globes have corners? Why not! If boxers can have square rings, globes can have corners. To keep our body of readers in a tranquil mood this month - always a primary goal here at Main Street South Africa's corporate headquarters - we offer these additional entries for this our latest installment of the Cyberbraai lexicon. Visitors to South Africa are prevailed upon to digest them, and previous lists as well, in order to understand what is really going on in that neck of the woods. Do woods have necks? Certainly! If chairs have arms, and tables have legs, woods can have necks. We say "Thanks, Hey!" to Main Street readers for sending their suggestions. We plan to acknowledge all of them by name in a Cyberbraai book we have in the works. Yes, we are going to publish an extended form of the Cyberbraai lexicon with lots of new features in the nearish future. If you want to know more about this project, email us and we will keep you posted as soon as we can get off our guavas on this one. BOK-BOK: This is an odd game played with decreasing frequency by boys and some boyish girls in South Africa. One member of a team stands against a wall while his team-mates bend over to form a sort of rugby-style chain extending away from him. Jumpers from the second team leap on to the human chain and one of them holds up a hand and chants: "Bok-Bok! Staan styf! Hoeveel vingers op my lyf?" ("Bok-Bok, stand steady. How many fingers do I have?") If the human string holds steady, the teams change over. Bok-Bok was very popular in ancient Rome, historians say. We all know what happened to the ancient Romans. CAPE DOCTOR: Older residents of Cape Town give this name to the south-easter which blows in summer months, usually forming a flat, rolling cloud over Table Mountain - the "table cloth" - and sometimes shutting down harbor operations. It was called the Cape Doctor because oldtimers said it blew all of the city's bad air out to sea along with accumulated street garbage, discarded newspapers and suchlike. Veteran South African political reporter Brian Stuart, now with the Citizen and then with the Argus, achieved modest local fame by being the first known journalist to report that some seagulls fly backwards in strong south-easters. That's news you can use when the Cape Doctor is visiting. DUMMY: If you find yourself in the company of a couple with a baby and the woman says, "pass me the dummy," she is not necessarily asking that you bring her husband to her. She is referring to the rubber, nipple-like thing they stick in babies' mouths to shut them up. A dummy is a pacifier. FORWARD: You won't hear this word used much by younger folk, but older South Africans will use it to describe someone who is a bit too cocky, a tad too arrogant, a smidgen too assertive. If you meet someone at a party and your first comment is: "I think you are quite attractive and I want to kiss you," that would definitely be considered forward. GOGGA: This is an insect, a bug, and all three of the g's are pronounced as though you are about to spit. South Africa is rich in goggas, some of them cute - like the harmless mantis and the intriguing stick insect - but other are disgraceful. The cockroach is the most disgraceful, especially when they fly. Natal has some monsters which could challenge Florida roaches any day. In its early days, the country's state-run TV service earned the enmity of viewers by scheduling a documentary on cockroaches at a time when millions of South Africans were sitting down in front of their sets with their Sunday evening meals on their laps. A highlight was how to dissect a cockroach. It did not go down well with the Sunday lunch leftovers. A dissected cockroach is even more disgraceful than a whole one. GUAVA: Everybody knows that a guava is a fruit - and a bladdy lekker one too. It is especially nice stewed and served cold with smooth custard, as lots of boarding school students will affirm. Guava juice is refreshing at breakfast. But in South Africa a guava is also a backside, a butt, a bum. If someone is behaving in an annoying manner, you can threaten to "skop (kick) him up his guava". But it is inappropriate and politically incorrect to issue this warning to someone who is not a good friend. It will be taken amiss. Also, it is not polite to laugh if the Cape Doctor bowls a stranger over on to his or her guava LAPPIE: A lappie (pronounced "luppy") is a cloth, a rag, used to wipe up a mess. You will find it in a machine shop to clean up oil spills, in a bar to wipe away spilled beer, or in the nursery where a baby who is munching a rusk (a hard biscuit found in every household) needs its face and hands hosed down and lappied every three minutes. All babies look like Winston Churchill and all smell of rusks. MAKE A PLAN: You will hear this good old South African phrase quite a lot. It means things might be screwed right now but we'll think of something just now. If you miss the bus to the airport, the hotel receptionist may say: "Don't worry man - we'll make a plan." If that plan includes the hiring of a taxi, you may want to think twice about it. PAVEMENT: This word confuses visitors to South Africa more than any other - especially visitors who like to ride bicycles. If you see a sign which tells you not to ride your bike on the pavement, it means don't ride your bike on the sidewalk. In the United States, the pavement is the roadway. In South Africa it is the sidewalk. If you forget this and pedal along the pavement, you are likely to be confronted by an irate cop who will ask you: "Hey! Can't you bladdy read?" SKINDER, SKINNER, SKINNERBEK: Gossip is one of life's little pleasures, and that is what "skinder" is - gossip. The word is usually pronounced without a hard "d" and most people will simply call it "skinner." A "skinnerbek" is someone who does it a lot, commonly without paying too much attention to the facts. Such a person can be very popular at office tea breaks, at parties and other social gatherings - unless the skinner is about you, in which case the skinnerbek is a louse who deserves a skop up the guava. SKOP, SKIET EN DONDER: Literally "kick, shoot and thunder" in Afrikaans, this phrase is used by many English speakers to describe action movies or any activity which is lively and somewhat primitive. Clint Eastwood is always good for a skop, skiet en donder flick. SNOEP: This is a favorite word, and it is used by all language groups throughout the land. Pronounced "snoop" with a short "oo" sound as in "book", it means stingy, mean, selfish. Be discreet about using it. For example, it may not be a good idea to say to your bank manager: "Unless I am granted this loan I shall have to conclude that this bank is snoep." That won't help your cause. Sometimes people use this word when they fuss over their friends' infant children: "Don't be so snoep with a kiss - gimme a big one." STROPPY: This word means pugnacious, difficult, aggressive, and it can be used appropriately at any level of conversation. For instance, a child who refuses to eat his stewed guavas can be described as stroppy. Or you may overhear the following comment during a discussion on international affairs: "This Saddam Hussein - he's a real stroppy ou. But he better watch out because these Yanks are not snoep with their missiles and he could fall on his guava. Big time." VROT: A wonderful word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really don't like. Most commonly it describes fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of takkies (sneakers) worn a few times too often can be termed vrot by unfortunate folk in the same room as the wearer. Also a rugby player who misses important tackles can be said to have played a vrot game - but not to his face because he won't appreciate it. We once saw a movie review with this headline: "Slick Flick, Vrot Plot." We enjoyed the headline more than the movie. LEXICON 1: Isit? Jawelnofine! |
