March 9, 1996

ISIT?  JAWELNOFINE!

A survival guide for visitors to South Africa.
You better read this, hey.

What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa. A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's raining like mad and hang of a cold. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance known as mealiepap. Read further for an explanation of "pap".

Now that you know what a braai is, here are some other words and phrases you will encounter in South Africa, used by folk of all persuasions, genders and ethnic adherences. You do need to know what they mean. Really.

Ag: This one of the most useful South African words. Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know." Or a sense of resignation: "Ag, I'll have some more pap then." It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation or of pleasure.

Biltong: Similar to jerky, it is dried, salted meat and can be made from beef, ostrich, antelope or anything that was once alive and fairly large. It is usual for expatriate South Africans to say: "What I really miss is my biltong, man."

Bioscope: Pronounced "byscope", its use is going out of fashion and in some urban areas, regrettably, it is being replaced by "movies" and "flicks." Sometimes it is reduced to "bio" or "'scopes." But you may still be asked if you would like to go to the byscope.

Blooming: Pronounced "blimming", it is roughly equivalent to "helluva", as in: "Ag, that pap I had at the braai made me blooming sick." For emphasis, "blooming" can be replaced by "bladdy" which, in turn, is a corruption of the Australian "bloody".

Cafe: This is the generic term for convenience stores and it is pronounced "caff" or "cayf." Traditionally operated by people of Portuguese, Greek or Asian ancestry, it is a good place to buy smokes (q.v.), biltong or the Alka Seltzer you will need after trying pap at the braai.

Dirtbin: Self-explanatory, this is a garbage can. It is also called a "rubbish bin." If you refer to rubbish as "garbage" you will be considered blooming pretentious.

Doll: A term of affection between males and females, it is used mostly in the Johannesburg area. A corrupted form of "darling", it will be heard thus: "Your turn to take out the dirtbin, Doll." "But I took it out it last time, Doll." "Well take the bladdy thing out again, Doll."

Donner: A rude word, it comes from the Afrikaans "donder" (thunder). Pronounced "dorner", it means "beat up." Your rugby team can get donnered in a game, or your boss can donner you if you do a lousy job.

Eina: Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch." Pronounced "aynah", you can shout it out in sympathy when someone burns his finger on a hot potato at a braai.

Fixed up: This means "good." An example is this exchange: "You don't have to take the dirtbin out, Doll -- I took it already." "Fixed up, Doll."

Hang of: This the same as the American "heck of", as in: "I have a hang of a headache" or "I had a hang of a good time at the braai."

Hap: Pronounced "hup", this means "bite" and is used in the following fashion: "Give me a hap of your apple. Ag, please."

Hey: Often used at the end of a sentence to emphasize the importance of what has just been said, it can also stand alone as a question. Instead of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon?" when you have not heard something directed at you, you can say: "Hey?"

Isit?: This is a great word in conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you at the braai: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership." It is appropriate to respond by saying: "Isit?"

Jawelnofine: This is another conversation fall-back word. Derived from the four words "yes", "well", "no" (q.v.) and "fine", it means roughly "how about that." If your bank manager tells you your account is overdrawn, you can say with confidence: "Jawelnofine."

Jislaaik: Pronounced "Yis-like", it is an expression of astonishment. For instance, it someone tells you there are a billion people in China, a suitable comment is: "Jislaaik, that's a hang of a lot of people, hey."

Just now: Universally used, it means "eventually" and sometimes "never". If someone says he will do something "just now" it could be in 10 minutes or tomorrow. Or maybe he won't do it at all.

Lekker: An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you see someone of the opposite sex who is good-looking, you can exclaim: "Lekkerrr!" while drawing out the last syllable. But that use is now thought politically incorrect in some areas.

Marmite: Contrary to American disinformation, Marmite is not discarded axle grease. Bought in small glass jars at supermarkets and cafes, Marmite is a salty vegetable extract and is the S.A. answer to peanut butter. Generations have grown up with it on their school sandwiches and, in turn, have inflicted it on their own children. This process has been going on for so long now, Marmite has become unstoppable.

Nappy: This is a diaper. The editors don't want to go further into this topic because their children are now grown up and the subject is closed for ever.

No: This word has many meanings in South Africa other than the opposite of "yes". Your host at the braai is likely to say: "No, I see your plate is empty. You want some more pap?". Another example -- If the clerk in a shoe shop asks if she can help, you may reply: "No, I'm looking for some tackies (q.v.)". This means: "Yes, I'm looking for some tackies."

Oke: A "guy" or "chap" or "bloke". If you quite like someone you can say: "Ag, he is an OK oke". Instead of "oke" you can also say "ou" which is pronounced "Oh."

Pap: Encountered at braais, pap is boiled corn meal. Pronounced "pup" it has the appearance, consistency and -- many say -- the taste of moist Plaster of Paris. Lots of South Africans pretend to like it. Eating pap is character-building in the sense that one learns to grin and bear adversity, rather like Americans in the South have grown spiritually by consuming grits. In a religious context, this process is called self-flagellation.

Shame: Like "No", this word can mean the opposite of its meaning in other parts of the world. If someone shows you a baby, you can say: "Ag, shame." This does not mean the baby is ugly -- it means the baby is cute. If the baby is ugly, it is more accurate to say: "Shame, hey." If the baby is truly hideous, it is appropriate to say: "Jislaaik." This may not be appreciated by the baby's parents.

Smokes: These are not sausages, but cigarettes. A packet of smokes is a pack of cigarettes. An American who wants smoked sausage can go to a caff and ask for "horrogs."

Tackies: These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe automobile or truck tires. "Fat tackies" are big tires, as in: "Where did you get those lekker fat tackies on your Volksie (VW), hey?"

We plan to include some more of these special South African words and phrases in our next and upcoming issues. If you would like to contribute to the list, ag just If we can use them, we will.

LEXICON 1: Isit? Jawelnofine!
LEXICON 2: Have Your People Tinkle My People and We'll Do Bredie.
LEXICON 3: Take a meemo Miss Jones and tell the plumber the dinges is broken.
LEXICON 4: Good Morning Boys and Lady.
LEXICON 5: Slick Flick, Vrot Plot.
LEXICON 6: I Yield to My China from the Opposition Benches.
LEXICON 7: Mr. Bressler Really Did Have a Foot in His Mouth.
LEXICON 8: Be quick with that Marie Biscuit, man!